The Cheyenne Social Club

John: “No, Harley.”

Harley: “His home set right out on the prairie. One day he went into the outhouse and got caught right in the middle of a stampede. When he went in he said there wasn’t a cow in sight. A few minutes later, three hundred and sixty-five longhorns ran over him. Broke him up something terrible. That was nineteen years ago and he’s still constipated.” (273K)

John: “Harley. I’d like to talk to you if you’ve got a minute.”

Harley: “Sure, John.”

John: “Ah, you’ve told me that story about twice now. Once last week and then once before when we were about five hundred miles south of here. Do…do…do…do you know where we are now, Harley?”

Harley: “Not exactly.”

John: “We’re in Wyoming Territory. I wouldn’t mention it but you’ve been talking all the way from Texas.”

Harley: “I’ve just been keeping you company, John.”

John: “Well, I appreciate it, Harley, and I don’t mind it too much for the first hundred miles. But Harley, you’ve been talking for a thousand miles.”  (434K)

Harley: “John, if I had that much money and already had a business, I guess I’d just live high on the hog for as long as it lasted.”

John: “That’s not what a shrewd business man would do, Harley.”

Harley: “You asked me what I’d do.”

John: “That was my first mistake.”  (157K)

John: “Harley. Why are you with me?”

Harley: “John, I’ve rode with you for ten years now.”

John: “I know that, Harley, but why?”

Harley: “Why!”

John: “Don’t you see what I’m trying to get at? Here you’ve been with me for ten years and I don’t even know why.”

Harley: “How come you never asked before?”

John: “Don’t know. Never thought of about it until just now.”  (233K)

John: “Uh, pardon me miss.”

Woman: “Yes.”

John: “Uh, could you direct me to The Cheyenne Social Club?”

Woman: “How dare you!”

John: “What’d I say?”

Harley: “Too much, I reckon.”  (127K)

John: “Harley, you don’t suppose…I mean you don’t think this is a whor…whor..? You don’t believe it, do you?”

Harley: “Do I what?”

John: “Nothing. Just an idle thought.”  (151K)

Bartender: “New in town?”

John: “The name’s O’Hanlan. Up from Texas.”

Bartender: “Wait a minute. You D.J. O’Hanlan’s brother? The one that’s taking over The Cheyenne Social Club?”

John: “Yes I am but…but…”

Bartender: “Well, welcome to Cheyenne Mr. O’Hanlan. Whisky’s on the house to you. Hey, May.”

John: “That’s mighty nice of you.”

Bartender: “Don’t mention it. D.J. drank free here and, well, I got along all right at his place. Ha ha ha ha.”  (280K)

John: “There can’t be a finer calling in the whole world than being a Republican business man.”

Harley: “I don’t like to dispute you, John, but didn’t you always vote Democratic?”

John: “Yah, well, that was when I didn’t know any better”  (150K)

John: “How much money do you want, Harley?”

Harley: “Fifteen or twenty dollars ought to do me.”

John: “And what do you need it for?”

Harley: “Things.”

John: “Well, what kind of things?”

Harley: “Just…just things. You know, like a drink of whisky if I wanted or a new shirt or something.”

John: “You already have two shirts. You don’t wear but one of them at a time unless it’s winter.”

Harley: “There you go, thinking like a Republican again.”  (259K)

John: “I never knew you were married.”

Harley: “Well, John, it ain’t something I like to talk about but I was married once and once is enough for any man. You can’t smoke, chew, dip, drink, scratch in the parlor or cuss. Leave the house, they ask you where you’re going; you come home they ask you where you been.”  (177K)

Clay Carroll: “It was there when there wasn’t a railroad for three hundred miles. It’s withstood prairie fire and Indian attacks. And the first ounce, O’Hanlan, the first ounce of gold discovered in this territory was spent wisely and well at The Cheyenne Social Club. And you…you come up here from Texas and close it down.”

John: “Well now, Mr. Carroll. I didn’t figure I was doing anything all that terrible. The fact is, where I come from, it would be considered something of a public service.”

Clay Carroll: “You don’t say.”

John: “Yes, sir. I do say.”

Clay Carroll: “You must come from a part of Texas that I ain’t heard of.”  (397K)

Mr. Willowby: “You can’t do it.”

John: “How’s that again, Mr. Willowby?”

Mr. Willowby: “It’s The Cheyenne Social Club or nothing.”

John: “But I…I…I don’t think I’m following you.”

Mr. Willowby: “It’s the agreement your brother had with the railroad.”  (146K)

John: “Oh, now, hold on here Carrie Virginia. I gave you away. I told that fellow Pete Dodge that you could marry him and for him to stay away from here until after the wedding, didn’t I?”

Carrie Virginia: “Oh I know honey, and Pete is staying away, too.”

John: “He is? Well who…who…who…who…”

Carrie Virginia: “Well, that’s just Edgar coming to pay his respects.”

John: “Edgar? Who’s Edgar?”

Carrie Virginia: “Pete’s brother. They’re such a close family.”  (272K)